Balance between work and relaxation. In our busy lives, we often really know what to do to relax and find a good work-life balance. We live in a time when work and leisure are increasingly intermingled. Technology allows us to work anytime and anywhere, which is obviously convenient but can also be very stressful. It is nice that we can work flexibly, but it also means that we are always “on” and it is difficult to really relax. It may sound simple: close your laptop after work and enjoy your free time. But for many people, this is easier said than done.

Perhaps for you, finding a good balance between work and leisure is also an ongoing challenge. Despite all the knowledge gained from books, podcasts and workshops on stress management and work-life balance, it remains difficult to actually put this knowledge into practice. We know we need to set boundaries, take time for ourselves and let go of work. Yet these things often fail. We keep working even when we know it’s causing us more stress.

The inner struggle

A client of mine, let’s call her Sophie, experiences this daily. She knows she needs to relax and let go of work, but she feels a constant pressure to keep working. This leads to stress and uncertainty, especially on weekends when she really should be relaxing. She knows what she has to do – stop working – and she wants to but she can’t manage. This is recognizable to many of us, and it begs the question: why is it so hard to do what we know is good for us?

Why it’s hard to let go

Perfectionism and sense of responsibility

Many people have a strong sense of responsibility and want to do everything perfectly. They feel a lot of pressure to meet the expectations of others. This makes it difficult to let go and relax because they are afraid they will miss something important or not perform well enough. That fear of making mistakes or not meeting their own high standards traps them in a cycle of overwork and stress. Sophie works in a demanding job where she must constantly meet high expectations. She wants to do her job perfectly and has difficulty delegating tasks, fearing that others will not do as well as she does. This perfectionism makes Sophie unable to let go of her work, even on weekends.

Habits and routines

Work habits can be deeply ingrained. If you are used to always being reachable and constantly busy, it can be difficult to break these habits. Your work can be a big part of your identity, and quitting can feel like giving up a part of yourself. In addition, work habits can provide a sense of control and security, something many people seek in an uncertain world.

For example, Sophie has a habit of answering emails late at night. This has become a way for her to show her commitment and dedication. Breaking this habit feels to her like disappointing her colleagues and boss, which causes her even more stress.

Fear of the future

The fear of not meeting expectations or falling behind can cause people to keep working even when they know rest is essential. This fear is often fueled by competitive work cultures and societal pressures to always be productive. People worry about their careers, financial stability and the opinions of others, leading to a constant state of alertness and stress.

For Sophie, the fear of not meeting expectations is real. She fears she will miss out on her promotion if she does not constantly prove she can do more than others. This fear traps her in a cycle of overtime, even when she is physically and mentally exhausted.

Psychological mechanisms

People may cling to work as a way to avoid other emotions or problems. Work can be a way to avoid personal problems, insecurities or feelings of not being good enough. Throwing themselves into work allows them to escape these unpleasant feelings for a while, but in the long run it creates more stress and exhaustion. Sophie uses her work to escape the uncertainty in her personal life. Her work gives her a sense of control and fulfillment that she lacks elsewhere. This makes it extra difficult for her to let go of work, even when she knows she needs rest.

From knowing to doing: practical steps

While it can be difficult to move from knowing to doing, there are several strategies that can help balance work and play. Here are a few practical steps you, like Sophie, can try if you are in a similar situation:

Start small

Start with small, achievable changes. This could mean stopping work half an hour earlier each day or taking a short walk during your lunch break. Small steps are less overwhelming and easier to sustain, which can help you slowly develop new habits. For example, Sophie can start by setting a weekly “work-free night,” where she consciously decides not to do any work-related activities after a certain time. This can help her slowly get used to the idea that it is okay to let go of work. One small step for Sophie, one big step for her well-being! So this is a matter of setting boundaries for yourself.

Find support

It may help to seek support from a coach or therapist. They can help you gain insight into your patterns and offer practical strategies to break them.A coach can help you gain insight into your patterns and motivate you to continue making changes.

For Sophie, it is helpful to work together on her perfectionism and fear of failure. We work together to understand and address these challenges and develop healthier work habits and realistic goals. Think of it as a kind of “personal trainer” for your mental health.

Self-compassion

Be kind to yourself! Change takes time, and it’s okay if it’s hard to learn new habits. Self-compassion can help you reduce stress and find better balance. It is important not to punish yourself for your difficulties, but rather to support and encourage yourself. Sophie can practice self-compassion by remembering that it’s okay to make mistakes and that she doesn’t have to be perfect. She can also use affirmations to increase her confidence and reduce her anxiety. A nice affirmation might be: “I don’t have to be a superhero, and that’s okay!

Awareness and mindfulness

Try mindfulness exercises to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. This can help you cope better with stress and learn to let go. Mindfulness can help you stay in the moment and not worry too much about the future or regret about the past. Sophie can begin doing daily mindfulness practices, such as meditation or breathing exercises, to help her stay more in the moment and reduce her stress. By taking regular time for mindfulness, she can learn to better manage her work-related worries and anxieties. Even five minutes of mindfulness can help her release work stress, as if she were taking a “mental power nap”!

Evaluate and adapt

Check regularly to see what works and what doesn’t. Adjust your approach as needed and remain flexible. It is important to understand that finding balance is a process that requires constant adjustments. For example, Sophie can check how her work and relaxation habits are going each month. She can track what works well and what doesn’t, and adjust her strategies based on these insights. This helps her to keep growing and improving. Think of it as a monthly “check-in” with yourself, just like you water your plants – a little TLC for your mind!

Examples of practical applications

Here are a few specific examples of how Sophie can apply these steps in her daily life:

Daily ritual for work closure

Sophie can develop a daily ritual to end her workday. This may include making a to-do list for the next day, tidying up her workspace and performing a short relaxation exercise, such as deep breathing or a short meditation. This ritual helps her mentally switch from work to relaxation. As if she closed her laptop and pressed the “off” button in her head.

Work-free zones and times

Sophie can set specific zones and times that are work-free. For example, she may choose to keep her bedroom work-free and not perform any work-related tasks after 8 p.m. at night. By setting these clear boundaries, she creates more space for rest and relaxation. A “no-work zone” to help her recharge her batteries. As a result, she also sleeps better and is more resistant to stress.

Social support and communication

She can share her challenges with friends, family or colleagues who can offer understanding and support. By talking openly about her problems, she feels less alone and gets more support in her quest for better balance. It helps to know that you are not the only one struggling with this!

You Got This!

Finding a balance between work and relaxation is an ongoing challenge, especially for people who know exactly what they should be doing but have trouble applying it. By taking small steps, seeking support and practicing self-compassion, you can slowly find a healthier balance. Remember that every step forward is a victory, no matter how small!

For people like Sophie, it is important to recognize that change takes time and that it is okay to have difficulty letting go of work. With patience, support and perseverance, it is possible to achieve a healthier and more balanced lifestyle.

So remember: give yourself space and persevere. You,ve got this!